New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
birth control should be required to get into college
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
