all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
