i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I am spending my child support on dildos
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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