a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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