Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I won't apologize to a one balled man
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
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