I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
