I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
