No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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