KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
