I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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