I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
