Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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