Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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