how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
3 2 1 whiskey
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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