Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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