I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
is that a dick in a sweater?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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