i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
