I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
