i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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