so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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