White coat. Heels.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Oh god it's open bar.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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