I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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