herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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