toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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