The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
