no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize