Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
