guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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