I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
