woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
