don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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