My room smells like vodka and shame
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize