new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize