hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
