Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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