these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
