He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
