If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
