OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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