As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
