I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
