using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
