I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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