Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
