i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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