Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
