we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
