Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
