I think I won the penis lottery.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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