i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize