Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
