I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
