I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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