Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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