My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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