yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
