the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
