I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
