Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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