just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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