Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
