i just had sex bonerless
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
