you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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