ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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