Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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