What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
