She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize