Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize