Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
