You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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