i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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