So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
my being single is dangerous.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Sorry about my life...
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
