haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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