Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
