i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
How drunk are you?
Completed.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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