I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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