Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
